It is obvious from the foregoing that the key to overcoming shyness and timidity in wooing a girl is to endeavour to remove anxiety from your mind. You need to realise too that the girl may be as anxious as you are while approaching her.
Your main preoccupation, therefore, should be to put her completely at ease and in a receptive frame of mind for her to listen to what you have to say. Thus, your objective should be to break down her defences and gain her complete confidence and trust as a friend and not a foe.
So, the solution is simply to forget about your own anxiety and concentrate all your efforts at making her relaxed and open to receive you. l assure you that once you have succeeded in doing this, 50% of the wooing job is completed.
Additionally, by removing attention from your own fear of failure and focusing all attention on putting the girl completely at ease, you may find that all your own anxieties and timidity naturally disappear into thin air with seemingly little or no effort on your part.
How do you put her at ease?
Approach her with confident strides. lt tells her that you are sure of yourself, of what you want and also know how to go about getting it. Girls generally respond more readily and easily to boys who appear to be in total control of themselves and every given situation than to boys who at first sight seem to be completely unsure of themselves.
Once you have her at eye contact, begin a smile from the corners of your mouth and let it widen until you reach her. Let the smile go deeper to the point of softening your eyes.
That smile as broad as it is, together with the softness which should be clearly evident in your eyes is enough to disarm her and put her completely at ease. In other words, your very first words should be a simple smile!
And just in case you did not know it, a smile is a very good body language that convey two things: friendliness and approval.
Immediately she sees that smile, she cannot help it but let down her guard and you succeed in breaking down her defences. Remember too that a smile is infectious. Ask little children and babies. They will tell you!
So, do not be surprised if she smile back at you and wait for your first words. But, if she doesn’t smile back, do not hastily conclude that she is not interested and simply say”Oh sorry. l thought you were someone l knew.”and walk away.
That would be self-defeatist indeed! Remember that she is no fool. People easily see through any pretence and she would have read you and know that you wanted to woo her but lacked the courage to see it through at the last moment.
Also remember that you are a total stranger to her. So, you have not given her any reasons whatsoever to gain her confidence and trust. Thus, it is part of the wooing process for you to break down her guard and gain her trust enough for her to reward you with a smile; and even laugh at some silly nonsense that you may later whisper just within earshot.
Consequently, if your self-confidence fail you, look at her again and ask yourself whether she is worth the bother. So, is she worth the bother? Is she? If she is, then give it a shot! You wouldn’t know if she will say yes or not until you give it a try, will you? Of course not! But, if you become fainthearted at the last minute when the word yes is just behind her lips waiting to be uttered, she would despise you for it, but she wouldn’t tell you!
So, even if she does not return your smile, go ahead and woo her. She wants wooing. She needs wooing. And in case you do not know the meaning of wooing, wooing means to”persuade gradually or prevail upon someone to one’s side”, according to”The Pocket Oxford Dictionary”. After all, in our world of today where people are hardly what they appear outwardly, it takes a lot to develop trust in someone who happen to be a total stranger to you.
Consequently, as long as she does not give you a cold shoulder or tell you that she is busy or in a hurry even before you have a chance of getting in your first words, tell yourself – no, convince yourself – that you stand a chance of wooing her and eventually getting her to say yes!